09:52 - 
Funny
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Funny
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Funny Quotes 1
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| One man’s folly is another man’s wife. |
'Second Street' is the most common street name in the U.S.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
1/3 of Taiwanese funeral processions include a stripper.
15 percent of Americans secretly bite their toes.
23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.
40% of all indigestion remedies sold in the world are bought by Americans.
A broken clock is always right twice a day.
The world’s oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old.
Queen Elizabeth I regarded herself as a paragon of cleanliness. She declared that she bathed once every three months, whether she needed it or not.
A group of frogs is called an army.
Albert Einstein never wore any socks.
- Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. — John Wilmot
- When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty. — Norm Crosby
- If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? — Scott Adams
- If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us. — Anon
- When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I’m beginning to believe it. — Clarence Darrow
- Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it. — Cullen Hightower
- All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. — H. L. Mencken
- It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on. ― Marilyn Monroe
- A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.― George Bernard Shaw
- Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. ― Mae West
- Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. ― Hedy Lamarr
- Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. ― Mark Twain
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